Passing along the days of living, I am lost.
My goals seem clear enough but I feel like they don’t feel obtainable. More and more tired and just feel like vegging out. Here I am at church and I’m writing this as I feel the heart is being pulled in multiple directions. Which way shall I go? My mind always blanks out when the service begins and comes back when it’s over. The only thing that keeps my sanity feels like music. Even at work. I sing along with any song that is playing. With worship songs, I can feel it resonate when it is sung with the soul and not the body by others. Maybe that’s why I don’t like listening to air one(Christian radio station) in the car. It feels fake. Music is my yellow brick road and I will try to let it guide me back. The violin that Jan lent me seems to be getting lonely and out of tune. I shall pleasure it’s f holes and play it’s g string to the rhythm of my melody~